So deep, it'll make puddles envious...

It's raining, it's pouring...

Back in my hometown, Riverside. Unfortunately my internet connection at home doesnt allow me to do much of anything--forcing me to take refuge in a starbucks full of regulars. Ive never felt so out of place...at the same time bracing myself for the inevitable run-in with a long lost friend. This is kind of stressing me out.

in other news...

according to David, people whose laptop keyboards stick are "ignorant", and naive to the fact that the world does not, in fact, revolve around them.

...reminds me of the many reasons why I moved 500 miles away in the first place...

mom had friends over last night from work--lots of old faces i havent seen since she retired...we sat around, drank wine and made pinecone ski-ing snowmen. Nikki came over and I got stuck babysitting her for the next few hours...that girl makes birth control seem obsolete...spend a few hours with her and youre gonna make damn sure your vah-jay has a security system that rivals the one in place at Fort Knox.

Phil and Laura came over after their dinner, and we celebrated Lauras birthday with amazingly delicious cupcakes and a half-assed birthday jingle. David then decides that I am too incapacitated to drive to Ryans afterwards (I had three glasses of wine in a 5 hour period) and forbids me to leave.

I then proceeded to use my uncles status of law enforcement in my favor by asking him to give me a sobriety test....

passed with flying fucking colors. Booya.


but in all seriousness...10 hours of driving in the pouring rain for this? At least Ryan had some new recordings to show me when I got over there...

Since the man cant keep a secret for the life of him when it regards gifts, he spilled the beans that he was refurbishing/customizing his first guitar to give to me so I would have an acoustic to practice on...then he goes on to tell me that he needs me as a backup singer for one of his songs...this oughta be good...

The sun just came out. Its so beautiful outside at this moment...why am I still at starbucks? until next time, faithful readers...well, whoever actually reads this anymore. love, love, love.

So, we meet again.

For once in my life...I don't feel horrible. For once, I am not the one to blame. I did the right thing, I did the noble thing. No matter how difficult it seemed, I knew it had to happen. I knew that waiting would only make it worse. I'm sorry. If this is going to benefit you in any way then please, by all means, milk it for all its worth. I am OKAY with whatever it is you need to do to despise me...i can pretend like I deserve it. for you.


So you tried to put a fire out
But you used gasoline
And when the congregation gathered round
Your screaming "it wasn't me"
So there's a sickness that is going round
But no one's got a vaccine
I think it drowned in holy water
I think its time we all come clean

I swear it's like dying
To catch a ghost
It feels like I'm trying
To hold smoke

When the army had to hold the line
Well you were nowhere near the front
Before the kids told their dog "get back"
Well you were loading up your gun
I wanna I've left the great divide
I wanna know what I've become
You think that no one else is lonesome
You think that your the only one

It feels like I'm jumping towards a train

Well I'm trying to find a way.