drinking alphabetically

It never ceases to amaze me how some things so insignificant and petty can make you feel like complete shit.

Tonight was a very...interesting night. Party #1, skanks talkin shit. Party #2, creepers talkin game. Party #3 people not talkin. Now, as the designated driver of tonight I was able to witness some very drunk, very stupid behavior. I was able to keep up with my girls however, and have lots of fun observing. Watched cloverfield. Realized that everyone from back home is completely disconnected from me. That came out of left field, didnt it? Guess I just feel like spilling into this lame little text box at 4 am...my "best friends" are now people I talk to on occasion. Best friend acquaintances, if I may. It seems as if nothing in Riverside is still attached to me, my heart. I feel so displaced from everything and so detached I dont even want to come home. I dont even want to visit. Im almost sure my mom is the only one that seems to be missing me. Sad reality, but like I said I have had a lot of time to think tonight. Drove Savs car for a bit and just listened to some music. It was raining. I love that combination. Drivers side window down. I havent cried in such a long time it almost feels overdue...like when you just hold everything in and bottle it up and stay busy to keep your mind from straying away and letting your emotions catch up to you. I dont know. I feel like...i should be crying? But im not? I have such wonderful and supportive friends up here, and have never felt so in tune with any group of girls. Its amazing to me that this has happened in such a short period of time after meeting them...theyre exactly like me, and I them. They have been the reason why I havent been crying, why I havent been moping around and fucking up in school. Why I havent been locked up in my room and why I havent developed lung cancer. We have more quotes and sayings than any other group on campus. Hell, we even have a couple of theme songs. Were kind of a big deal, people know us....HA. People dont forget. Im getting loopy now because im over talking about shit that doesnt matter. Why am I even stressing out about this? Good question.



uhhhhh. SMELL YA