capture this feeling.

Hold it tight and never let it go...here it goes....spilling out of every nook and cranny of my physically exhausted self. Human being? I am a human becoming. Becoming someone and something i have strived these past few years to transform myself into. I am everything i think you need. I think you desire. Some of the most childish dreams consist of one day being desired. Not by one, by all. Being on that pedestal that is said to hold perfection. But what defines perfection? Could it be the geometry of ones face or the angles of ones opinions? Maybe the volume of ones heart..all three wrapped into one? Could this possibly exist in someone, something? Anything at all? Is perfection such a necessity in our lives we are constantly reaching out for it, while smashing others into the ground who do not seem to uphold our ridiculously high standards? I am not a perfect human being. I can say that with confidence and without shame. Now i see. I once wished to be that perfection you needed so desperately, but now i realize i will never live up to that standard. I am finally coming to terms with it. Because i now truly believe that i am something unique, something special with certain attributes that could be described as perfect--not to the world, parse, but to someone special enough to recognize that i am a great woman with a damn good heart. Someone that sees me, every little part of me, as perfect, even if he is the only one that thinks so. Someone to know every character flaw, every little detail of who i am as a woman, as a human being and still desire me, everything about me, even if its not all to the standards of society's definition of perfection. Bits and parts of me are not removable. I am one person, one woman. Take it all or leave with nothing.


so, whats it gonna be?